Into your hands I commit my spirit: Erin Ware [Retrieve Lament 2019]
Into your hands I commit my spirit: Erin Ware [Retrieve Lament 2019]

I kid you not, there was a time, not long before all of this happened, that I thought that “the worst thing that could happen” would be my car breaking down, because I was very financially vulnerable. Then, almost like a joke, my car was stolen, and I couldn’t replace it. (Spoiler alert: I got through it.) The truth is, for most of my life, losing my mom would have been the worst thing that I could imagine—and then that happened too. I don’t want to think about what my “worst thing” would be now. All I know is, through it all, I have come to realize that there is life after death in more ways than one.

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Lament Stories, LentTamara Hill MurphyRetrieve Lament 2019, holy week, grief, mourning, lament, guest post, visual art, creators and cultivators, Into your hands I commit my spirit Comment
It is finished: Marcie Walker [Retrieve Lament 2019]
It is finished: Marcie Walker [Retrieve Lament 2019]

When my mother was sentenced to serve 8-25 years in prison on the charge of involuntary manslaughter, we all said, “This is it,” which in our hearts translated to, “So, this is how it all ends.” She was nearly 60 and all of us, her children, were grown but still asking ourselves,”What kind of woman is this? Troubles ride on the wind and land at her feet.”

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Lament StoriesTamara Hill MurphyRetrieve Lament 2019, holy week, guest post, grief, lament, creators and cultivators, It is finished
I thirst: Kirstin Dowsett [Retrieve Lament]
I thirst: Kirstin Dowsett [Retrieve Lament]

I felt increasingly convicted that the Lord was asking me to commit to a fast this season and I became anxious that I would (again) be unable to keep it. As I brought this anxiety to him in prayer, I felt the Spirit asking, what has led you to break fasts in the past? What has been so frightening about allowing yourself to hunger and thirst? Why have you hurried to escape your hunger or tried to satiate it with false coping mechanisms? This time, why not remain in it and invite me into it. Tell me you thirst.

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Lament StoriesTamara Hill MurphyRetrieve Lament 2019, holy week, gue, mourning, Friendship, community, I thirst Comments
Why have you forsaken me?: Eva Chou [Retrieve Lament 2019]
Why have you forsaken me?: Eva Chou [Retrieve Lament 2019]

After completing my last surgery, I received permission for emergency travel from my command (as all military members must), handed-off of my patients to my colleagues, and hopped on a plane with Jeff the next morning to Taiwan, where my parents had moved back to after I went off to college. In the states, I am comfortable navigating the medical system and have the inside advantage of being embedded within; in Taiwan, I am just a family member who speaks broken Chinese without any insight into their medical system. And here I was, put in charge of making medical decisions with the help of Google Translate.

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Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother. Drake Dowsett [Retrieve Lament 2019]
Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother. Drake Dowsett [Retrieve Lament 2019]

In the shalom that God designed for his creation, my mother was to be more like Mary, my father was to be more like Joseph, my life was to be more like Jesus’. I look at this passage and this time see how dimly our dingy triptych stands in comparison to the ideal. I can taste the absence of his kingdom and I am hungry for it with a deep ache that cuts back through the years to my earliest memories.

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Lament StoriesTamara Hill MurphyRetrieve Lament 2019, holy week, liturgical art, guest post, lament, Behold your son / mother