Brian Murphy's Work Stories: Don't Quit Your Day Job
Welcome to the newest post in the second annual series of guest posts on the subject of our everyday work lives. For the remaining weeks of Ordinary Time, I’ve invited some friends to share a one-day snapshot into their work life that will help us see what they know to be true right now about who they are made to be.
I’ve had the holy privilege of thinking about work and callings with today’s guest for over thirty years. When I say “thinking about work and callings” what I really mean is losing sleep, moving around the country, fighting, crying, anguishing, sacrificing, and celebrating all the twists and turns my husband’s work and callings journey has taken throughout our dating and marriage years.
Brian’s worked - often multiple jobs at the same time- since we were best friends in middle school. The first time he told me he loved me we were actually on the job working together at a summer camp. Since he had to pay much of his own private high school tuition, a lot of our dating years looked like me popping in on him while he slung pizza dough at Guiseppe’s in Binghamton. When we broke up before I moved 500 miles away for college, it was the loneliness of attending Bible college by day and working the third shift at a potato chip factory job that reminded him he loved me.
I could keep going, framing the story of our twenty-nine years of marriage by the work my husband’s done. You can read more of that here, here, and here. Here’s what you need to know: every single employer he’s ever had could say they won the Brian Murphy lottery (except maybe that one short-lived CVS gig?)
Blue-collar, white-collar, and clergy collar - Brian’s worn them all with tenacity, vigor, and a winsome sense of humor. Today he’s sharing his latest work adventure with us. I hope you’ll be encouraged wherever you find yourself working day or night.
p.s., If you’d like a snapshot into Brian’s day job, you might enjoy listening to his sermons at Church of the Apostles’ website.
I have a job where I travel with many different people with many different expectations and plenty of freedom to critique my performance.
Often the critique comes quickly and bluntly other times it comes after a period of time accompanied by vague and simple quips. Either way, this job takes thick skin.
I, of course, am talking about my new role as an Uber and Lyft driver.
I have been a chauffeur and dad to four kids for 28 years, so I thought, “Why not give other people rides?” My oldest daughter is getting married in April, so I thought, “Why not make some extra money to give her a lovely day?”
I’d like to say that I am giving people rides for noble reasons like getting to know the place where we moved just a little over three years ago. Or to build the conversation skills that are necessary to talk to people about the God that I love in a place and time where that discussion is seldom welcomed.
Although all of these things happen in a day of driving, I’m doing it to make money to help my daughter pay for her wedding.
View during an early-morning Laguardia run.
Now, before going any further I want to give two disclaimers.
One, my day job as a pastor pays me a fair wage for a good day’s work. My family is sustained and well cared for by a church that I love and am honored to pastor. Alas, God called us to a place nicknamed “The Gold Coast.” That is code for “this place ain’t cheap”.
Two: it’s a joy, not a burden, to help strangers journey from point A to point B in order to help Kendra and her fiancé Jordan begin their lifelong journey together.
For those of you not from New England, one of the challenges of an ordinary Uber/Lyft shift is deciphering the level of conversation that the rider wants to have. Most often, I start with a simple question like, “How’s your day going?” A one-word answer means no talking. A little longer answer means maybe I should talk but pace myself.
I did not pace myself with the delightful father-son duo from Minneapolis/Saint Paul that I drove one and a half hours to the airport. I quickly burned through all of my best material on the upcoming playoff series between the New York Yankees and Minnesota Twins. Then, we had one hour and ten minutes to chat in-depth about the accounting conference that they had just attended. At least I think it was an accounting conference, but I lost the conversation sometime after the words “money versus wealth”, which sound like two ways to say the same thing. But in true Midwestern fashion, these two were nonplused and kindhearted.
Preparing for the next shift.
I picked up a rider from a summer masters course and drove thirty minutes to his apartment. Most college students are not interested in a conversation, opting instead for their smartphones. He was lonely living in a college town that had emptied out and just a really nice guy, we had a heart-to-heart about friends, art, and what’s next in our lives. The conversation was so great that we actually talked for about 5 minutes after arriving at his destination.
Brian’s Uber profile. He’s lost some sleep over the .08 drop in his 5 star rating.
One ride almost threw me into an emotional crisis.
Out of 66 rides over three months, I have received 38 5-star ratings, two 4-star ratings, and one 3-star rating. I’m not going to lie, the 3-star rating challenged my thick skin, clear eyes, and full heart.
I spent far too much time trying to figure out if it was the guy who I picked up from his beach house who told me that he had just flown in from Amsterdam as I was driving him to a restaurant in the heart of the Gold Coast. Or was it the group of college kids who laughed with me as I drove them to a restaurant downtown? Or was it the lovely young woman who I picked up from the train station after she had spent the day in New York City with her grandparents who were visiting from India?
All the rides that particular shift had the ordinary mix of nervous laughter, poignant pauses, and surprisingly honest responses that characterize most conversations. And all of the riders were genuinely likable.
What was it about three stars that bothered me so much?
Some of it is simply wanting everyone to like me. This is a topic for another time.
I am surprised by how much I want to be a good Uber driver. I want every rider to enjoy their trip. I am careful to select enjoyable music, vacuum the floors before every shift, and make wet wipes available just in case. I was really upset that someone had a bad experience in my car.
I was equally upset that I cared so much. I really just wanted this job to be a fun diversion to make a few bucks with no worry or pressure to be excellent.
After thinking more about it, I guess that we’re all built to care about being good at our work. I am glad that I want to be a good Uber driver. I think my customers are glad too.
Brian and his wife Tamara were born in Binghamton, NY where they met in high school. They have been married for 29 years and have four adult children - Andrew, Alex, Kendra and Natalie. In January 2016 they welcomed a daughter-in-law, Rebekah, and in April 2020 they’ll welcome a son-in-law, Jordan. Brian has served as Rector of Church of the Apostles since 2016. Before moving to Connecticut, he served as the Executive Pastor at Christ Church, an Anglican church in Austin (where he was also ordained into the priesthood) and the Executive Administrator at his home church in the greater Binghamton area. In his free time, he enjoys baseball (he's a Yankees fan), boating and spending time with his family who are now spread across the country in Texas and Connecticut.
Here’s a benediction and song for all of us, and especially those who work in the service industry.
“Lord God, whose Son was a carpenter, we commend all those who keep our homes safe and hospitable to your care, who keep our vehicles safe and reliable, who manufacture products we use each day, and who transport people and materials to your wisdom and care. We commend those who prepare and serve food and drink so that we can taste and see that you are good to your love. We commend all those who serve customers in all stores, workshops, and garages to your mercy. Send your Spirit of kindness and service and empower our brothers and sisters in your Son’s example of serving others. Amen.”
Day by Day [featuring Joy Ike], Work Songs by The Porter’s Gate
What story does your daily work tell about who you are called to be in this world right now?
Share with me know in the comments below!
(You can read all of the Work Stories here.)