Practice lament with me this Lent and feed people in Austin at the same time
The Window Overlooking the Courtyard, Bob Weil- Source
Practicing lament this Lent
Our congregation is practicing lament this Lent. Our pastor (who also happens to be my good husband, Brian) recognized that all of us are carrying the weight of accumulated loss and needing to learn how lament is both an act of worship and a gift for our own souls. We’re also reading W. David O. Taylor’s excellent book Open and Unafraid: The Psalms as a Guide to Life which points us toward the Psalmist as our model for expressing the full range of human emotion in the presence of God.
I feel compelled to look deeply into lament, beyond my preconceived notions, to grow in my understanding of lament as more than an idea but an expansive and healing language we’ve been given by our Creator. The language that Christ, in the words of the poet Rilke, came to retrieve. Like any language, we can learn just the bare minimum for survival or we can immerse ourselves in its full expression.
If lament is a forgotten language for most of us, how have we been expressing our sadness, anger, and grief, and depression up to now?
As I’ve been praying about this question, it’s occurred to me one of the popular grief stage theories might help me understand the language we’re using when we don’t know how to speak the language of lament. What might the categories of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance help me understand about the shortcuts we take to expressing a wholehearted lament?
In his book, David Taylor offers guidance to recognize the pattern of the majority of the lament psalms: a complaint, a petition, and a resolution. I began to wonder if this simple pattern of expression might help us counter the inadequate language of the stages of grief?
Each week of Lent, I’ll be considering one stage of grief in the light of one part of the psalmic pattern of lament. Imagine we’re going back to language class to learn the parts of a sentence. I need, more than ever, to be able to articulate the layers of grief cluttering up my soul with half-finished thoughts and angry sputtering. Yesterday, I shared with our Stories community that anger seems to be the stage of grief I’ve been stuck in for much of 2020.
As we’ve entered 2021, I’m grateful that the Spirit intercedes for me when my groanings are too deep for language, but I also want to keep learning a more robust language. I’d like to do more than survive the relentless noise of suffering we’re all absorbing into our hearts, minds, and bodies this past year especially; I’d like to know how to not only be still and know God but also to boldly ask “Give ear to my words, O Lord” (Ps. 5:1) and “Listen while I build my case, God” (Ps. 17:1, MSG).
I want to extend the invitation to learn the language of lament to you also. Language is for the community. It helps us to know each other and our own selves with more compassion.
Will you join me?
Lament in Week 1: Honesty to unlock denial
Stage of grief: Denial
Language of lament: Honesty
Lament in Week 2: Complaint to articulate your outrage*
Stage of grief: Anger
Language of Lament: Complaint
Lament in Week 3: Petition to articulate desires
Stage of grief: Bargaining
Language of lament: Petition
Lament in Week 4: Questions of complaint and petition to help articulate depression
Stage of grief: Depression
Language of lament: Complaint and Petition
Lament in Week 5: Resolution to stay present to lament with God and others in order to affirm meaning and welcome wisdom
Stage of grief: Acceptance
Language of lament: Resolution
Lament in Week 6: Mourning Stories from 7 friends to help us reflect on Jesus’ words of lament and to retrieve our own
Stage of grief: All
Language of lament: The Seven Last Words of Christ reflected in the stories of 7 stories from 7 friends**
It might be helpful to start a journal to use through the rest of Lent. Let this be a place you share your honest thoughts and feelings with God. We’ll also spend time at the end of each week in the Lent Daybook Meditations reflecting on the previous seven days. A journal might help you recall what’s been stirring in your heart and mind along the way.
If journalling feels paralyzing to you, don’t do it. You might want to talk out loud to God as you walk or knit or do the dishes. Some of you might even form your thoughts best by crafting a playlist or painting a picture.
Our weekly prayer for Lent:
Knowing that God loves me unconditionally, I can afford to be honest about how I am. How has the last day been, and how do I feel now? I share my feelings openly with the Lord. (Sacred Space for Lent).
Together we will trust Jesus to be with you as you retrieve the language of lament.
Walk with me through Lent one of two ways (or both!)
Subscribe to a Daybook Meditations membership to follow along with the daily meditations online.
Donate and request the Lent Daybook 2021 as a one-time download. Keep reading to see how using this option will help folks in Austin right now.
How joining me in Lent helps feed people in Austin this weekend
We have 2 sons, a daughter-in-law, and a daughter all trying to make it through the aftermath of the cold and ice in Texas this week. They’ve all gone without some combination of power/heat/water this week and we’re so grateful that none of them have had to weather the storm alone. They have told us often their larger concern is for their friends and neighbors who live in circumstances with a lot more vulnerability. Among the concerns, is that folks would have clean drinking water and hot food. This morning our daughter told us about a friend from church who walked an hour through the ice and snow to bring her and her roommates water earlier this week.
Natalie’s roommate asked her “Who does that kind of thing?!?” Natalie said, “Well, actually, I know a lot of people who do that kind of thing.”
Our friend Phaedra Taylor is one of those people in Austin right now. Because stores have been closed and the food supply has been disrupted, she has been making soups and stews as well as collecting other kinds of food items to give directly to folks she hears about through her church (Church of the Cross Austin) and her neighborhood groups. Phaedra invited those of us who’d like to donate proceeds from art-making and other digital sales in order to help her and her family continue to purchase ingredients to make food.
Now through the end of the day Monday, February 22, I’ll be donating 100% of the money given toward the Lent Daybook 2021 .pdf download. If you don’t need the download for yourself, you can purchase it and share it with a friend. The suggested donation is $15-$25 but you are welcome to give whatever you’re able. All of it will go to helping purchase, make, and deliver hot food to folks in Austin who need it now.
Three steps to donate and request your Lent Daybook download:
Head to this link: https://www.tamarahillmurphy.com/lent-daybook-2021-pdf
Click the button that says “Donation” which will take you to my PayPal link. Give what you can there.
Click the button that says “Request download” which will generate an email to let me know you’ve donated and where to send your download.
Let me know if you have any questions!
May our practice of lament lead many to the hope of resurrection.
*Thankful to Marilyn McEntyre for introducing me to the phrase “articulate outrage” in her excellent book Caring for Words in a Culture of Lies
** Thankful to Christ Church of Austin for introducing us to this meaningful tradition.