I’m joining Emily Freeman, a writer and podcaster I admire, in her invitation to reflect on the past quarter with a What We Learned reflection. I appreciate the wisdom of author and teacher Jan Johnson’s encouragement: “It’s not the experience that brings transformation; it’s our reflection upon our experience.”

In light of the troubles I want to share the most important thing I’ve been learning over the past couple of years and more than ever this spring.

I've been quietly attending school the past couple of years, a school where my primary educators are people of color who are actively influencing the world right now. I thought I'd share a few names from the list of people I'd consider the faculty* in this school.

Even though it might feel overwhelming, there’s so much clarifying and righteous content being written by people of color right now. Each one brings their own voice and areas of specialty - overlapping in many themes and unique perspectives in others. Some names represent individuals - artists, writers, theologians, pastors, advocates, and more - with both global, national, or regional influence. Other names represent collectives, initiatives, and organizations led by people of color. It's a beautiful, complex, compelling and deep well of truth, goodness, and beauty.

If you'd like to attend this school with me, here are the names of people I commend to you. Let these voices lead you into a deeper, truer understanding of the reality of our current world.

*I've selected (more or less) public figures who've gone on the record on issues of race, faith, and civic life. There are many more names near and dear to me who are teaching me as my friends.

I'm staring with a special shout out to a woman who's taught me more and loved me through so much I don't understand. Go here first: Mockingbird History Lessons For Adults. Become a patron today and receive her summer reading lists for all ages. Also follow Marcie at her brilliant Instagram account: Black Coffee With White Friends.

There are many more, but this is a formidable list for starters! For those of you who've been quietly listening to people of color, what names would you suggest for me?

The Holy Spirit empowers us to stand up with all the oppressed and the Spirit's power is abundant enough for all injustice and need. Right now, we lean into all that God wants to reveal and empower our black brothers and sisters to speak and do.

The Holy Spirit empowers those of us who are white and have lived within the privilege of the majority culture to listen, repent, and act in the power of the Almighty, Making-All-Things-New God.

In that power today I say I am sorry. I repent. I am listening and learning. I love you.

Here’s a bit more of what I learned about myself, God, and others during this extraordinary season.

1. Even on its worst day, Zoom is a God-send.

This is the only photo I own of my immediate family and Zoom made it possible. Thanks, Zoom. (Also, we play the most complex, but perfectly-suited for our family DIY games over Zoom. Thanks, again.)

2. It’s about the marriage and not the wedding. Still, the wedding matters a whole bunch.

Our daughter Kendra’s wedding date was supposed to be April 25, 2020 - that’s today in case you’ve lost track. Processing the disappointment of having to postpone her wedding and all of the uncertainty that includes was a bitter disappointment for all of us. Kendra’s sense of loss was personal and deep. The sliver of a silver lining was that with the big celebration postponed, Kendra and Jordan could go ahead and have a private ceremony whenever they wanted. They chose April 4 and 9 of us gathered (both sets of parents and one sibling each plus a wonderful man from our church who live streamed the service to family far away).

We used our church sanctuary and decorated a little corner of one of the rooms for a brief “reception” which consisted of a delicious little cake from a local bakery (served from behind a giant sheet of plastic between the bakery and the customers) and a bottle of champagne.

While there are still so many questions in my mind about God’s timing and purposes for us all during the global suffering of COVID-19, something in my soul felt at peace with two people committing to love each other for better and worse, richer and poorer, in sickness and health till death do us part. It felt to my eyes and ears and heart like a small, but everlasting protest of life over death and love over fear.

We’re excited to (God willing) celebrate Kendra and Jordan’s (and their family and friends!) dream for their wedding day in October, and we’re giving thanks now for this burst of celebration in April May God make the love of Father, Son, and Spirit evident in and through the new Mr. and Mrs. Jackson. Amen!

3. If you find yourself planning a makeshift wedding in the middle of a pandemic, it helps to have some very good, generous friends.

A generous friend from church drove hours into the Connecticut countryside to gather local flowers for a bouquet and two altar arrangements. While we were inside celebrating the new couple, two friends secretly decorated Kendra’s car. While the bride and groom walked to their car we popped confetti cannons and Amy and Jan sat in their cars across the parking lot blasting their car horns. It was a lovely, sweet celebration in the middle of the world’s chaos.

4. I’m so proud of the pastors I know.

As the daughter of a pastor and now wife of a pastor, I've always had the privilege (which many times did not *feel* like a privilege!) to have a front-row view into the daily work and caregiving required of those called into that role. I've never been more grateful for this perspective than during this time of pandemic and quarantine.

I'm grateful for each pastor I've seen reaching out to her or his congregation during this disorienting pandemic. Know that God's heart is beating through your life and work as you and your fellow leaders and family members provide care for the body of Christ. Thank you!

5. I’m so grateful for our neighborhood - the businesses, the parks, and the people.

I’ve been walking more and can’t stop thanking God for placing us in this neighborhood before quarantine. I don’t ever want to take for granted the beauty of the place we live and the privilege we hold to have access to a larger horizon a couple blocks away from our front door. I try to smile at my neighbors with my eyes across six feet over my mask and under my hood. We’re living in a time of prepositions - across, between, over, under, around and through. Within and without we are navigating space and time in new ways. If we’ll have eyes to see into the hiddenness of things, we find beauty smiling back at us. Let’s keep our eyes open, friends.

6. Going to church at home is weird, but also a surprise gift.

Can I get an amen?

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7. Now I totally get Annie Dillard’s much-discussed friendship with that spider of Tinker Creek. Here’s where my new friend lives.

8. Not being able to visit a loved one in the hospital is really hard.

9. Postponing a funeral is also really hard.

We lost my paternal grandmother, Joyce Marie Hill, on March 18. She was and will always be a larger-than-life figure in my heart and memory. Almost every party of my life carries her imprint.

You might remember that my grandfather, Douglas Hill, passed away in December. My grandmother was 92 years old and she spent 92 days alone after Grandpa died. It seems fitting and, I suspect, 92 days longer than she would’ve liked to have stayed here. It’s been especially painful to not be able to be together with my family to remember Grandma and thank God for her life in a funeral service. I feel like part of me can’t fully grieve until that happens.

The solution my family has found is to bury my Grandpa and Grandma this coming Saturday with an informal, outdoors, come-if-you’re-able graveside service. We’ll put on our masks and go. Grandpa couldn’t be buried in December because the ground was frozen. They died 92 days apart but will be put into the ground on the same day with few witnesses. It’s not the kind of remembrance any of us imagined for Grandma but somehow it seems exactly like her.

10. Taco Tuesdays make quarantine a little bit better.

Have you discovered any new gifts hidden in this time? For us, it’s been Taco & Margarita Tuesday with our daughter and son-in-law. They’re the only ones we feel like we can have into our home right now. Our new son-in-law is a furloughed chef and he and Brian have put the grill to excellent use for taco fillings. Also, their dog Juliet gets to run free in the backyard once a week. I don’t know how long this little Tuesday evening oasis will last but I’ll never forget it.